I know I've disappointed you for being gone so long. It's been over a month since I've blogged. I feel like I'm in a confessional and I'm not even Catholic. The reason I've been gone so long is that I've been doing some deep thinking about my life. You can stop reading now if you don't want maybe TMI.
I turned 47 in 2008 and I'm now on the downward slope to 50. I've been trying to lose weight since I was in my early 20's when I only weighed 119. Dieting has become part of my life and I just keep getting larger. I haven't always been fat, just since having my son did my weight spiral out of control. Now I'm starting to fear for my health. I don't have any problems right now, but I can see them in the near future if I don't get this under control.
One of the reasons I gained the weight in the first place was because I was gifted with a special needs child. He has cause me stress that only a mother of a special needs child can understand. Eating was my medication of choice to help me get through the day. Now, I'm happy to say, Son is a healthy, happy, well-adjusted, and a fairly NORMAL child at 14. I don't have to eat to medicate myself to relieve the stress. That stress is gone. I also gained weight because I had an intestinal problem which turned out to be a blockage in my gall bladder that caused me severe pain if my stomach didn't have something in it. Every time I felt pain, I would eat. It worked, until I had a severe gall bladder attack and had it removed. Now I don't have that excuse any more either. So, why am I still so large? I think I gained the last 20 pounds because I'm going through menopause. It's been 11 months since my last period. Just one more month to go before I can officially say I'm in menopause. It's very exciting, but I think the hormone thing has cause the weight gain. I haven't changed my diet at all. In fact, it may have even gotten healthier. My metabolism has slowed down to a snail's pace.
I'm done being fat. Plain and simple. I'm back on Weight Watchers and committed like I've never been before. I have sworn off sodas, high fat dairy, sugar substitutes, and sweets. Now I know all you are thinking that I'm crazy and this will never work. Wrong! I need to do these things for my health. You see, I've been a vegetarian for over 20 years, completely eliminated animal flesh of any kind in my diet, Yep, if it had parents I don't eat it. Now I still eat eggs, but no dad! It's time I take the big step to Veganism. I won't go cold turkey, but I have been gradually adding in substitutes for eggs and dairy into my diet. I've always know it's easier to make big changes than little ones, but I can't. However, to this end, I'm eating very low on the food chain these days and really enjoying every minute of it. Water is the only liquid I drink. If all you are drinking is water than it's easy to get it all in.
Exercise hasn't been as easy to do as changing the food. I hate exercise. It hurts to exercise. I have arthritis and way too many pounds to move comfortably. However, now the treadmill is in the living room right in front of the TV. I can't even see the TV from the couch. My goal is to walk 30 minutes five days a week. If I go a little longer or maybe even run a bit, all the better.
Just to keep me honest, I have to share this with you. I'm starting this journey at 200 pounds. Yep, that's right, 200 pounds! I can hardly believe it myself. At 5'1" tall, that horrible. Worse yet is that I've already lost 5 pounds to get to 200 pounds. So, in case you were wondering if this sewing blog was going to become a weight loss journal, it isn't. I just thought that I could share all this with you, my sewing friends and you would encourage me along the way. After all, if I lose weight I'll have to come up with new alterations for new patterns and sew me some new clothes. I'm hoping you, my sewing friends, will be with me as I move down this new path to a healthy happy new me. Thanks for listening and being there for me.